In My Own World

The COVID-19 pandemic has probably turned the lives of most people in 360 degrees. A lot has changed since it started. We're probably not the same people we were when COVID-19 was just getting started. The pandemic has changed us into different people. We may not recognize these changes right away, but when we look back, we can see what we've become because of the COVID-19 pandemic. If there's one good thing that came out of this pandemic, it was definitely personal growth. I think we all experience it in one way or another. I'd like to say that most of us became better people. Personally, I became kinder and more understanding. Before, I used to be unkind to most people that I encountered. I thought highly about myself. I used to be so self-centered. I would say mean things about other people. I used to see things only from my own perspective. I never realized back then that we all go through different struggles in life. Some are just good at hiding them. We all have p...

I probably shared with you in the past how I struggled to find a job. I've been to a lot of job interviews. And when I say a lot, I mean a looooooooot. I couldn't count how many job interviews I attended. Whether virtually or on site. There's this one interview that goes on top of the worst interviews I attended. It was somewhere in Pasig. It was an agency. I saw the job posting online, so I sent my resume. They texted me and told me that I had an interview. So I went there. ‎  I am not used to wearing shoes with heels. So every time I attended an interview back then, I always left the house wearing flat shoes. I just bring with me other shoes with heels. Then I'll change before the interview when I'm already near the area. But when I had this interview, one of the soles detached from the flat that I was wearing. I was feeling it before I rode the bus, then it fell off when I was already inside the bus. So I had to wear the shoes with high heels that I brought. The ...

I am grateful for today because I got the chance to see another day. There were a lot of times when I told God before I went to sleep not to wake me up in the morning. I told Him I'd already had enough in this lifetime. I don't want to wake up anymore. I have no reason to be alive anymore. Yet, up to this morning, He still continues to wake me up. So I have to be grateful for that. There are some people who aren't given a chance anymore to see another day. But I did, and for that I should be grateful.  I am grateful for last weekend. I was able to visit the place where I was born and spent most of my childhood. I was able to breathe fresh air. I got to see some relatives. I got the chance to rest my mind and divert my attention to other things. I am grateful that in those two days, I was able to stop myself from overthinking.  I am grateful to my third grade teacher because she visited me even though it should have been the other way around. She went to our house. She said ...

I used to be a happy kid. I used to laugh at the lamest jokes. But what happened to that kid? Where did she go? I am not at my best as of this writing. I haven't been okay in the past decade. It tried to act okay and feel okay. But the feelings that I've been running from for the last 12 years happen to resurface now. I feel overwhelmed with everything that's been going on around me. It's true what they say, "Misery loves company."  A lot has been going on around me lately. I feel worried about a lot of things. Family issues, identity crises and being jobless. A lot of chaos in my head. I know that life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. I know I can't be happy all the time. But I don't want to be sad anymore. This past 3 years, that's what composed the majority of my feelings. I feel so empty. I don't want to be sad anymore. I want to feel okay again. Not happy, just okay. Not perfect, just okay. Not over the moon, just okay. Not ecsta...

‎Last Saturday, March 9, 2024, for the first time, I was able to witness Ed Sheeran perform live at the SMDC Festival Grounds. The concert features two other artists. One was Callum Scott, and the other was one of the Filipino prides, the band Ben & Ben.  I was anticipating Ed Sheeran's concert here in the Philippines. I'm a fan of his songs. Who isn't, anyway? It was, I think, October last year when it was announced that he would be having a concert here. I was excited when I heard about it. Then I saw the price of his tickets. I wanted to watch him closer, but the ticket was a bit pricey. It was already the day of ticket sales when I finally decided to watch. I settled for the ticket that my wallet could afford. It's better to be there physically, even far, than to simply watch snippets of his concert through my newsfeed. Fortunately, despite the long queue online, I still scored a ticket. I was really meant to watch his concert, I thought to myself. When I arrive...

Here's to all the women in all parts of the world. Happy International Women's Month to us! Menstruation hasn't always been easy. PMS isn't a joke. Giving birth to a child is hard.  Here's to all the mothers and grandmothers, including the soingle mothers. You are the glue that holds your family together. Nothing compares to the sacrifices a mother does just to keep the family strong. You never get tired of serving your family. Always making sure that your children eat at the right time. You always attend to them when they are sick. You are their very first teacher. You have always been their lawyer, always defending them when someone tries to hurt them. You always make sure that your children are safe. You never want them to be hurt. Their pain is also your pain. Here's to all the single ladies who would rather not be with anyone else. Not wanting to have your own children or build your own family doesn't make you less of a person. Being childless and singl...

I strongly believe in karma. I believe that you reap what you sow.  Karma is real. You get what you deserve. If you are bad to people, do not expect others to treat you fairly. You can't expect something you aren't willing to give. Perhaps the people that you aren't treating right don't reciprocate your cruelty. But time will come; out of nowhere, there will be someone who will make you feel triple the suffering that you made other people feel.  You have no idea how the wheel can turn all of a sudden. When the time comes, that's when you will realize everything that you've done to other people. When a random stranger unexpectedly helps you when you need it the most, or when no one helps you when you badly need help. That's the only time you will realize what you have done in the past to deserve such help, or what you did to other people, because it seems that no one wants to help you.  When you treat people right, they will treat you right in return. Sometim...