State of Mind
"I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathin'." This is a famous line from one of The Script's songs, Breakeven, and there's no better line that could possibly describe my current situation than this. I am running out of reasons to stay alive. Every day has always been the same as the others. It was just a few weeks ago when I thought that things would finally change. But what I thought was true turned out to just be an illusion. The bubble that I'm in suddenly burst. Nothing has changed. I'm still here, feeling stuck and miserable. Good thing I have our dog. He's my ray of sunshine. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I hate feeling like a failure. I hate the feeling of losing that tiny hope that I'm holding on to. I hate that I have high expectations. I hate that I couldn't make things right. I hate the feeling of not being good enough. I hate feeling that I am not capable of doing anything. I hate feeling lost. I hate being clueless...