Head Above Water

There are days—quiet, random, almost uninvited—when the thought of quitting my job slips into my mind.

It doesn’t come with a grand reason. No dramatic breakdown. No final straw. Just a simple, lingering thought: What if I just stop?

Maybe it’s because this isn’t what I once dreamed of. Maybe it’s the routine, the repetition, or the feeling of wanting something more but not quite knowing what that “more” is. The kind of restlessness that doesn’t scream, but softly stays.

But then reality has a way of interrupting.

Because as much as the idea of quitting sounds freeing for a second, the truth is—I can’t afford to. Not in the most literal sense. Life isn’t exactly cheap, and dreams don’t pay the bills. This job does.

And strangely, every time I find myself leaning toward that thought, life seems to gently pull me back.

It reminds me—sometimes subtly, sometimes a little too clearly—that I’m actually in a fortunate position.

In a world where layoffs are becoming more common, where stability feels uncertain for so many, I have something steady. I have a job.

Not just any job—but one that lets me work from home. I don’t have to wake up extra early just to beat the rush hour. I don’t have to squeeze myself into crowded commutes or spend hours stuck in traffic. I get to do my work in a space that’s familiar, comfortable, and mine.

And when I really sit with that thought, I realize—this is something a lot of people are hoping for.

A setup like this isn’t always easy to find. For many, it’s the goal.

And you know what—I don’t even know what I would do if I didn’t have a job.

Life hasn’t been so easy lately, and if I didn’t have this to divert my attention to, I don’t know what would happen to me. The structure, the routine, the responsibility—it gives my days some kind of shape when everything else feels a little uncertain.

I know God has always carried me through everything. That much, I’m sure of.
But maybe this job… is one of the ways He’s doing it.

Maybe this job is another reason why I’m still okay.
Still functioning. Still sane.

So maybe this job isn’t my dream. Not yet, at least.
But it is something that supports me, sustains me, and in many ways, protects me from struggles I might otherwise face.

And maybe that counts for more than I usually give it credit for.

I’m learning that not everything in life has to be perfect to be worth keeping. Sometimes, it’s enough that it works. That it provides. That it gives you room to breathe, even if it doesn’t fully set your soul on fire.

So for now, I stay.

Not because I have to—though that’s part of it.
But also because I’m starting to understand that there is quiet grace in what I already have.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s something I shouldn’t be so quick to walk away from.

au revoir. 😊